Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Old Memories

Isn't it strange how much people impact our lives. Friends that I haven't seen or talked to in years can suddenly pop back into my life. I see or hear about ex-boyfriends who played a small role in shaping my ideals for the Perfect Man. So, what brings on this sentimentality you might ask? Well, this one is for BL. I hope he will read this and know who he is and what a special guy I think he is.
We met in 9th grade when I had just moved back to Gulfport to start high school. We had a few classes together, and shared a lunch period. A few months into 9th grade I started my first "semi-serious" relationship with KD. We went out for 3 or 4 months, but he was super shy--I guess too shy for me. After we broke up I found myself being "wooed" by a few guys that I was friends with: KJ, BL, and MS. I ended up saying "yes" to MS. We dated about 4 months, through the end of the school year. That summer I tried out and was accepted into the high school colorguard (9th grade is separate from 10th-12th). Let's did BL and I end up talking? Maybe we had a class together, or rode the same bus (yes, I still rode the bus in high school). Anyways, we started dating at the beginning of 10th grade. We went to dinner and Homecoming together (his mom and soon-to-be step-dad were our chaperones to dinner). Only one month after we started dating I found myself on a band trip with a certain guy, PR. Little Ms Nosy-body, AA, who had been very close friends with (and had a serious crush on) BL, told me I "better call him and break up" before I 'cheated' with PR (in our minds, talking and holding hands was 'cheating'). I think I did call him (either that night or the next day) and told him I wanted to break up. So, that was the extent of our relationship. And, in that whole month we dated, we never even kissed.
Now let me describe BL to you. He is a very good looking guy. With his hair is long-ish or buzzed, glasses or contacts, dressed up in a suit or wearing workout clothes--he looks GOOD. But, I don't know if he knows that. He always had a kinda shy but smart-alecky personality. You never get a strong response or emotional output from him. But even so, he was always very kind, funny, and fun. So, what was I, silly high school girl gonna do with a guy like that? I didn't have the time to "teach" him how to be a more attentive boyfriend. Or "teach" him how to be more outgoing and sensitive. So I moved on.
We remained "loose" friends through high school (but he wasn't in my usual-band-crowd). Once I came to college we actually talked a lot more. We started IMing almost every night and shared a lot of personal experiences. I really started caring about the person that he is. That lasted through our freshman and sophomore years (at different universities)...then it slowly tapered off. As Richard and I got more serious BL backed off (as a friend) and I didn't want to give the wrong we talked less and less. Now, we catch each other on IM every couple of months or so. And sometimes when I'm down in Gulfport I'll run into him and we say hello. But I think we both have the little thought about "what if." You know that game.
So, like my previous post about "Lasting Impressions" I'd just like to thank BL for being the person that he is. We both have our lives. Now you know my "side" of the story. And I sincerely hope that we will be friends for a long time to come. Even if we go months and months without talking I know that the instant I see your name on IM, or see you around town I will smile and know we have something to chat about. Thank you.


At 5:40 PM, Anonymous Grandma M 's valuable input...

Keep in touch with that friend, I too had a friend like that and in the later years lost contact. When I went back for my class reunion, I looked forward especially to seeing that friend, only to get there and find out that he had passed away 4 months before the reunion. It really put a cloud over the whole thing. Don't let that happen to you...

At 11:07 AM, Blogger Celina 's valuable input...

thanks gramma. it's good to hear from you again. we love you very much!


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