Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Nearly a Week Gone By

Sorry I've been slacking this past week, but I've been up to a lot lately. And, today is no different, but I really wanted to take a moment to post about my weekend. Friday I drove down to the coast to spend the weekend with my best friend, AJ.
I arrived in Gulfport earlier than I had expected, so I took the "scenic route" along Hwy 90.

Not so scenic these days.

That night, we had dinner with several of her friends (they were very nice company). Saturday, AJ & I went to Mobile for massages (How's this: $25 for 1 hour!), a nice lunch, and shopping (mostly window shopping for me). Afterwards, we had dinner in Ocean Springs (Can you believe this: practically all of the restaurants here close between 6 and 8 pm! Even on Saturday!) followed by drinks back at her house.

Sunday, I went by my in-laws to see the family. AJ wanted to meet me for lunch before I left town, so we went to this Awesome Chinese Buffet. We sat around talking for a long time, and before we knew it, it had gotten late in the afternoon. I called R and "asked" if I could stay another night (you married folks know what big babies our guys can be). Of course he said it would be fine and he hoped I was having lots of fun. We went back to AJ's parent's house and hung out for a little while (her mom & dad are the most adorable people!), then went to see The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe (I had already seen it and loved it, but they hadn't, and all the other movies were either too late or too early). It was just as wonderful the second time, too. Sunday night was a little more relaxing. AJ & I just sat around and talked about everything under the moon (like only best friends can). Monday I packed up and headed back home--racing a terrible storm/cold front that would be whipping through the state by evening.
I really had a wonderful time this weekend and only wish R could have gone with me (well, sort of).
Well, this weekend brought up a subject that gets a little touchy between me & R. He asks why I need time away from HIM. His mom tells him to leave me alone & let me enjoy my weekend with my friends. AJ says that he gets me forever and she only gets to see me once every couple of months. AJ's mom says that even after nearly 30 years of marriage, she still needs little breaks from her husband. And, here's the kicker: My mom says that she can't understand why I WANT to "get away." She says that she "never" needs time away from dad--and it's not right for me to "leave" R like that!
Oh, and let me say this, too. I don't have many friends (I've always felt that girlfriends are just too catty and I've had many, many just come & go), and AJ is really my only girlfriend who I talk to about personal and everyday things. We talk on the phone maybe once every other week (or more, if either of us is having serious issues), and we get together on weekends once every couple of months (usually alternate who goes where).
So, I know y'all have opinions on this. Please, share them! I'd really like to know what other people think about this. Do y'all ever feel like sometimes you need to just get away (not just from hubby/boyfriend, but also your town, house, chores, work/school, etc)? And, do you ever just go?


At 2:27 PM, Anonymous Aunt Judy 's valuable input...

Most definitely! It makes it nice when you return too. It isn't the sign of anything bad...just that, even though you have joined in marriage, you AREN'T joined at the hip! R should really understand this. He saw how much his mom needed, and never got, time away for just her.

Don't let folks make you feel bad about this. It should be what makes the two of you happy and R needs to understand that in order to BE who you are, you can't just BE his wife.

At 5:53 PM, Blogger ccw 's valuable input...

Celina, I think your feelings are completely normal. With the exception of your mom, I have never heard of anyone not wanting to get away from their day to life (whatever that includes) at some point. It is not selfish to want time for yourself.

Yesterday, I proclaimed that I was going to run away.

Before Kid L started school, I would just go, but with a more rigid schedule it is more difficult to just get away for a day or two. I think you should enjoy your time apart because once you graduate and especially once you have children, it will be much more difficult.

At 12:58 AM, Anonymous Gandma M 's valuable input...

It sounds as tho all your In-laws feel the same way. too much "togetherness" kills a relationship...Love means the ability to let go, if it is real you will get it back!!!!!!
Gma M

At 8:57 AM, Blogger Gary 's valuable input...

Making time for your friendship with AJ is perfectly ok. Let others fret about it. You just enjoy it.

At 11:35 AM, Blogger Mon 's valuable input...

Uh, yea, Getting away is definately a good thing! I think I could stay forever with my fiance, and thinking of leaving him is hard, but once I'm gone, I have a blast, and I really appreciate him more when I get back, so I think time away is a good thing! I think its perfectly normal to need ME TIME!

At 3:09 PM, Blogger Celina 's valuable input...

Thanks y'all, so much for your input (and support)! I do feel like "getting away" is okay, it's just trying to get HIM to understand (why) that is the hard part!

Judy, thank you! He is mostly okay about it, but still makes side comments that really make me feel guilty!

CCW, I think my mom does WANT to get away, but she has dad, my 2 sisters, 2 dogs, & the cat...nevermind work + 2nd job + school... That's how I look at it--once we move (probably very far away) I won't be able to visit AJ, and once we have kids, I'll have to put them as a higher priority...Now I CAN "just go," so I should...

Gramma, it's not even like "letting go," it's just a weekend in a different environment with the company of good friends. And, it wouldn't bother me if he wanted to go somewhere with "the guys."

Gary, that's what I'm working on. Doing things that make me happy and not worring about what others think (it's just hard when the "others" are your husband and mom).

Mon, R & I dated for 4.5 years before we were married. Actually, this March will be 6 years that we've been together, so we've had Plenty of "together time." And, most of the time, I would really love for him to come with me.

At 9:41 PM, Blogger zombieswan 's valuable input...

Andrew & I have been married for 13 years this coming May, and together for 15. And sometimes, both of us need and want time away from each other. And we love each other very much. Now with the babies, I know how scarce that time to yourself & with just you and your friends can be.

He needs a guy friend he can hang out with on their own.


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